Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Ultra hot blast from the past




As I was watching t.v. the other day I was taken by a song in a commercial. So I typed a few simple words (miss dior cherie commercial) into google and the results changed my life. The song was written by the sexiest woman to ever roam our planet. Her name is Brigitte Bardot, a French goddess that reigned supreme hotness before your mom even had her first period. If you want to know more, wikipedia her. But to honour this mega babe, download her best-of album and give it a listen. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, I was.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Canadian Indy Band Finally Gets Big Break


The much lauded critical darlings, Nickleback, finally catch a break from the mainstream media. A band that has slipped under the radar for years recently won Band of the Decade accolades from the Associated Press. Speaking about the award frontman Chad Krueger was unapologetic for his bands alternative style and artistic nature. "It has been a long road. I just don't think the general public every really understood what we were about and what our music represented. It is pretty subversive and introspective stuff. All I can say right now is look out for our next record. It will punch you in the face! We have tried to incorporate more experimental electronic sounds, Krautrock, post-punk and jazz influences this time around. So, all I can say is you have been warned."

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Egg Story

An 88 year old man ate 25 soft boiled eggs every day and his blood cholesterol level nevertheless remained well within the healthy range. The man appeared to have early Alzheimer's disease and could not remember most things he did during the day, but he felt compelled to keep a diary in which he carefully recorded every egg he ate. About this obsessive behaviour, he said: "Eating these eggs ruins my life," he said, "but I can't help it".

-excerpt from "What to Eat" by Marion Nestle

Friday, December 11, 2009

CD Sales Breath New Life with the Sales of Amazing Hip Hop Album


Just when I swore to never purchase music ever again this album comes out and I am compelled to buy it and copies for all of my friends strictly for its epic cover art.

Hulk Wants to Tell You the Truth About His Skank Wife


I love this interview. Hulk you rock! You tell the truth. We can handle it.

Lite Up My Day


Dear Blog,

Yesterday while at work I made a cup of soup out of a can of V8 by simply warming it up in my plain white coffee mug. However, today I found my mug crustated with tomato juice, so I decided to get a new mug. I ditched the old one in the sink for someone else to clean and opened the cupboard to get a new mug. Wow! There it was. The Lite 96 CHFM collectors mug. That is right. I have in my possession one of the most sought after collectibles on the globe. Now I have to decide whether or not to auction it off on Ebay (probably starting at $9000) or proudly display it on my desk?

Signing out blog,
That Guy in Your Office

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Are You Reasonable?

2. REASONABLENESS

(1) Reasonable Person

(b) Knowledge

HNE-12 Intelligence.

HNE-12 Intelligence. Everyone is required by negligence law to possess a certain modicum of intelligence. Stupid individuals must answer for their foolish ways to their victims, even though they may be forgiven by their Maker.1 The awkward and the accident-prone must make good any losses they produce.2 The reasonable person is presumed to possess neither over-apprehension nor over-confidence.3

Common knowledge. A reasonable person must know certain common things, for example, that fire burns, knives cut and heavy objects fall when dropped.4 It should be realized that animals can get into mischief,5 that defective equipment6 and open excavations are dangerous,7 and that snow and ice may fall off a roof.8 Any prudent person must foresee the hazard of explosives,9 blowtorches,10 hot rivets11 and poison.12

Need to expand knowledge. A reasonable person need not be aware of esoteric matters,13 but as human knowledge expands, the esoteric may become the commonplace. At least one should know when one is ignorant of something and that information or expert advice should be sought. To drive with one's vision obscured14 or to proceed in the face of an enigma such as a purple traffic light,15 may well be negligence. There is nothing wrong with doing one's own simple household repairs,16 but when the task is a complex one, it may be negligent to proceed without expert advice. Thus, those who build bridges without adequate professional counsel about drainage subject themselves to liability even though they may have escaped if they had consulted competent engineers.17 There are conflicting decisions on the need to consult experts over trees. For example, there is apparently no need for ordinary landowners to confer with specialists to determine if their trees need looping, because they may rely upon their own judgement.18 On the other hand, if the trees are near a busy highway, if a defect is visible, and if the defendant is a large landowner, there may be a "duty to provide himself with skilled advice about the safety of trees".19 Here again, it appears that more effort must be expended to avert greater risk. Normally, however, an actor will be relieved of responsibility if following professional advice or if hiring an expert to perform these tasks,20because it is eminently reasonable to rely upon others,21 especially when they are skilled persons.

Superior knowledge. If people possess superior knowledge, they are obliged to act reasonably as a result. Thus, where the defendant is actually aware of the presence of an inflammable fluid,22 or of mink that are whelping,23 or if the defendant is a "skilled storekeeper",24 additional demands may be expected. A person who uses a light in a garage must do what "any experienced man would do in the face of the known hazards implicit in the undertaking".25 Similarly, someone who utilizes an acetylene torch must exercise the care that a "reasonable man, skilled in such things, would exercise in using such a torch in the particular circumstances of time, place and space, and proximity to inflammable objects involved in its use".26 Someone with actual knowledge of danger has to issue a warning, whereas one who lacks it may not.27 Those who profess to be experts must live up to the standard of their professional confrères.28 A professional football player, for example, is expected to live up to a higher standard than one who plays for a local team.29 There is a special obligation upon drivers of emergency vehicles to be able to handle crises in a more effective way than ordinary drivers because of their training and experience.30

The Reasonable Man

Like the long-haired, bearded man that white people imagine Jesus looks like, I present to you law's Reasonable Man in the flesh.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Friday, November 27, 2009

Democracy Not



Amy Goodman detained at Canadian border on suspicions that she was going to Vancouver to criticize the Olympics.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Andrew Gets Wave Invite!

And boy is he excited. He's going to spend all day trying to figure out how to get people to join so he can "ping" them.

Friday, November 20, 2009

America

So two more taser stories. One involves a homeless man who caught on fire, and the other is a mentally disabled deaf man who wouldn't leave a bathroom.

Cop Tasers 10 Year Old Girl

A local Arkansas police officer answered a house-call by a mother who couldn't get her potentially criminal daughter to go to bed. When the "nice guy" approach of simply threatening the young girl with jail time failed, the officer was forced to deliver electric shocks to her back. After cuffing the little bitch he then carried her to his squad car because she couldn't walk. In her defence, the child says that she usually goes to bed on time. (Link to Story, because it actually exists).

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Nick Was Right, After All.


Turns out the planet has actually been getting "cooler" over the past decade. Contrary to any developments in science since 300 B.C., a Calgary--yes, Calgary-- group of alleged scientists are launching a (radio!) ad campaign to put an end to all that anti-semetic hogwash, aka climate change. I must concede...it is pretty cold over here in Saskatoon.

Croc 0 - 1 Everything Else



FU Crocodile.

Can't Stop Must Rock

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Friday, November 13, 2009

God Loves Big Macs

And so do Ontarians/Ontarianites?/Onterribles?....anyway. The Premier has made all fast food items under $4 EXEMPT from the harmonized sales tax. There is absolutely no reasonable explanation for this. Except that your after-burger smoke will taste better.

Facebook Saves Man from Jail!

19 year old NYC man exonerated from robbery. Facebook shows he was facebooking at the time of the crime.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Lack of Hardcore Techno Music Ruins National Celebrations of the Falling Berlin Wall


The German Ministry of Culture takes major flack for opting out of having major trance DJ’s to host the Berlin Wall Commemoration ceremonies, instead deciding to go with mild, glitchy, futuristic tunes. Unfortunately, the crowd was only mildly amused by the massive falling dominoes.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Feel the Rhythm, Feel the Ride Get on Down it's Blackface Time!


Things got a little too 1830s during Halloween for a group of four white U of T students who dressed up as the Jamaican bobsled team from the movie Cool Runnings. The team won a prize for best costume, along with their black friend who sported the popular whiteface in an impeccable effort as the coach, originally played by John Candy. The four white theology majors will be executed by hanging at noon today in Dundas Square.


A blackfaced Roger Sterling, seen here crooning in an episode of Madmen.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

How to be an Executive Slacker at Work...


"But I don't have an assistant," you say?

FOX Goes Offline, Switches to Egyptian Papyrus


In a bid to become the least relevant news source in the world, FOX news has decided to become invisible to Google searches. CEO & ageing relic Rupert Murdoch stated "Google delivers more than a billion consumer visits to newspaper websites each month. But why would people want unlimited news from differing perspectives all in one place? I am confident that consumers would rather go directly to our sites, create a profile, log in, and pay a fee. This is the way forward for FOX, not some passe marketing model last used by the New Yorker in 1977."

Monday, November 9, 2009

No Bull Shih-Tzu, Just the Straight Mircales of Life


Congrats Miss Princess!

Climate Change is a Pedophile


Climate change, as we all know from reading PETA brochures in the lunch room, is dramatically changing the way species live or die in the arctic. Polar bears, man's oldest enemy, are now getting stuck on ice floes because they are too busy being lazy and sunning themselves in this wonderful new heat. They eventually die of simple laziness and contentment. But climate change has moved from poaching to new more heinous crimes - pedophilia. You heard it here first, eat your heart out PETA.

Perfect Version of Ourselves

Nothing mind blowing here. Just another journalist's opinion about facebook. We all know it. We all think it. But we all do it. (Except me).

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

South Secedes, Colonel Sanders Introduced to UN as New President



UN makes inroads among fat people and middle-class Malaysians.

Confirmed: black face is back.

I'll take those jeans, this shirt.. and some face paint.

Monday, October 26, 2009



This year's big halloween costume im Deutschland.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009

Ice-Skating Bear Kills Trainer

A bear on skates. A bear...on skates. What the fuck is wrong with people. (story)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Progress in E-News

Studies show Canadians who read their news online are partial to specific category organization in their headline tabs. Weekly World News demonstrates (click picture to enlarge):


-Andrew Kuzma, Foreign Newshound

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Broadband is a Right!



Can the Fin's do anything wrong?
http://www.techcrunch.com/2009/10/14/applause-for-finland-first-country-to-make-broadband-access-a-legal-right/

Thursday, October 1, 2009

MAI XIANG ER SHI YI SHI JI


The real reason for this exhibit is that Chinese poster.

3.0/5

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Job Posting Alert!

WTF?

I saw this outfit at American Apparel last week and thought that no one would ever wear this. And sure enough I was having a coffee in Kensington this morning and this girl walked by. Man, I hate when I have to eat my words.

5/5

Thomas Daley, Contributing Editor
Daily Distractions Review Magazine

Monday, September 28, 2009

"Snuggly Wuggly I love you more then Heaven, chocolate and my dog Tinky Winky"


Terms of endearment, sappy love letters and over-the-top displays of affection on Facebook got you down? Well here is a chance to vent Snuggly Wuggly: STFU, Marrieds

3.5/5
Thomas O. Daley, Contributing Editor
Daily Distractions Review Magazine


Thursday, September 24, 2009

Daily Distractions Review Magazine Volume 1 Issue 3


When you're this distracted at your job already, you don't even have time for this magazine.

3.5/5